DEAR ALLISON: I want to make her my wife...

Dear Allison,
I have been crushing on this guy for a while and he finally asked me out to dinner. It went really well and he even tried to hold my hand! The weird thing is, when the check came, he looked at me and asked me if I wanted to split the bill. Now I'm confused, was it really a date?

Sincerely,
Checked out

Dear Checked,
I am all for women's rights, but there are some traditions that should never change. If a guy invites you to dinner, he should pay. In this case, attempted hand-holding and all, it sounds like it was clearly a date but your suitor is just stingy. Maybe he's been hit hard by the recession. He doesn't have to be your sugar daddy, but he should treat you once in awhile. For now, just pick economical spots for your future dates, knowing you'll be footing your portion of the bill.

Dear Allison,
I live with three other girls and we only have one bathroom. We are pretty good about not stepping on each other's toes, but I bought some body wash exactly one week ago and now it is completely empty. Obviously, my roommates have been helping themselves to my toiletries. How do I bring it up without sounding rude?

Sincerely,
Sharing in the Shower

Dear Sharing,
One week—wow. At least you know your roommates are clean. You definitely need to bring this up with your roommates, but the worst thing you can do is sound accusatory. Don't put them on the spot by asking whether or not they have been using your body wash, but just gently remind them that you bought it for your own use (in case that slipped their minds). If the problem persists, just keep your stuff outside of the shower and bring it in with you whenever you are showering. Then you know it's for your use only.

Dear Allison,
I am in love with this amazing girl. I always ask her out and bring her gifts but she insists she just wants to be friends. I am happy to be her friend but can't help but want something more. I want to make her my wife one day. How can I convince her that we could be great together?

Sincerely,
Hopeless in Love

Dear Hopeless,
Last time I checked, marriage proposals are not the best way to seduce mysterious women. If you are really in love with this girl, and she says she just wants to be friends, then you should respect that. If you pressure her, she will end up resenting you and you will be out a friend and a potential lover. Be patient, and if she's smart, she'll realize that you just want her to be happy. And that is love, my friend.